The Habit of Looking Sideways
I don't really remember a time in my life when I wasn't comparing myself to someone else.
As far back as I can remember, I've measured my life against the people around me. It didn't matter what it was. School. Sports. Careers. Creativity. Relationships. Somewhere along the way, I developed the habit of looking sideways before I looked at myself. Even when I accomplished something I was genuinely proud of, there was usually a small voice asking whether someone else had done it sooner, done it better, or somehow made it look easier.
It's a difficult habit to explain because comparison isn't always loud. Most of the time it's quiet. It sneaks into moments that should feel joyful and convinces you to question whether they're enough.
For me, it's never really been about wanting someone else's life. It's been about wondering whether I'm doing mine correctly.
Comparison Doesn't Stay in One Place
Photography and content creation has certainly become one of the places where I notice it the most.
I'll find myself scrolling through someone else's work and admiring it, which is completely normal. Then, almost without realizing it, admiration quietly becomes comparison. Suddenly I'm wondering why my editing doesn't look like theirs, why they're photographing bigger weddings, why they're traveling more, why their work seems more recognizable, or why their posts receive more attention than mine.
The frustrating part is that I genuinely want to celebrate other creatives. I know firsthand how much work goes into building something from the ground up. I know the late nights, the uncertainty, the financial investment, and the vulnerability that comes with putting your work out into the world.
None of that stops my brain from asking whether I'm behind. And it isn't just photography. I'll compare my website to someone else's. My Instagram feed. My opportunities. My career. Sometimes I'll compare where I am in life to people my age who are getting married, buying houses, traveling the world, or reaching milestones I haven't reached yet. It feels like my brain is constantly searching for a scoreboard that doesn't actually exist.
The Problem With Comparison
I've started realizing that comparison is impossible to win because the goalposts never stop moving.
If I book the client I've been hoping for, I'll notice someone photographing an even bigger wedding. If I finally reach a milestone on social media, someone else I follow has already doubled it. If I accomplish something I've worked toward for months, my brain immediately starts looking for the next thing I haven't done yet. It doesn't matter how much progress you make if you're always measuring yourself against someone standing somewhere else.
Comparison has a way of stealing the joy from moments that should feel like victories. Instead of celebrating where you've arrived, you're already focused on where someone else appears to be. I've spent a lot of my life doing that. It's exhausting.
Learning to Return to Myself
Over the past year or two, I've been trying to catch myself when I do it.
Not because I've figured it out, but because I've realized how much energy comparison takes away from the things I actually love.
When I stop worrying about what everyone else is creating, I remember why I picked up a camera in the first place. I remember that I genuinely enjoy photographing birds from my balcony, chasing the moon across the sky, documenting trips with a point-and-shoot, writing these blog posts, and saying yes to creative opportunities simply because they sound fun.
None of those things started because I wanted to impress anyone. They started because they meant something to me. I've realized that every time I create from that place instead of from comparison, I enjoy the process so much more.
I Don't Think It Ever Completely Goes Away
I wish I could end this by saying I've stopped comparing myself. I definitely haven't.
I still do it more often than I'd like to admit. The difference is that I notice it now.
Instead of immediately believing every comparison my mind offers me, I pause. I remind myself that I'm seeing someone else's highlight reel while living every single day of my own life. I remind myself that someone else's success isn't evidence of my failure. I remind myself that there isn't one correct timeline for building a creative life.
Some days I believe those reminders more than others. Some days I still find myself looking sideways.
But I'm getting better at turning my head back toward my own path.
Final Thoughts
I think one of the hardest parts about becoming yourself is learning to stop measuring your life against everyone else's.
I'm realizing that a lot of what I see online isn't the full picture. Social media is curated in such a way where people share what they want to share, in the way they want to be seen. It's easy to forget that in the moment and start comparing your real, unfiltered life to someone else's highlight reel.
I don't actually want someone else's career. I don't want someone else's photography style. I don't want someone else's life journey. What I really want is the confidence to fully embrace my own without constantly asking whether it looks right compared to everyone around me.
Maybe that's what growing up really is. Not eliminating comparison entirely, but recognizing it for what it is and choosing, over and over again, to come back to yourself. I'm obviously still learning how to do that. But for the first time in a long time, I think I'm beginning to trust that my own path is enough.